If you’ve spent any time trying to build trust or get buy-in, whether it’s in a team, an organisation, or across a complex network of stakeholders, you already know this truth: real engagement doesn’t happen in meeting rooms. It happens where people actually are.
That sounds simple, but it’s not easy. Too many of us fall into the trap of designing neat communication plans, scheduling formal consultations, and expecting others to show up on our terms. The problem is that’s not how influence, trust, or relationships really work.
If we want to build meaningful engagement, the kind that leads to shared understanding and genuine collaboration, we’ve got to get comfortable going where the people are but what does this mean in practice?
Stop waiting for stakeholders to come to you. One of the biggest mistakes I see people make is believing that a great strategy or a polished message will automatically attract people’s attention. It won’t, people are busy. They’re distracted. And most of them are dealing with competing priorities that make your project one of a dozen things on their radar.
If you really want to connect, you need to step into their world. That might mean joining their community meetings, walking their routes, sitting in their canteens, or even scrolling through their social media feeds.
Map your stakeholders not just by influence or interest, but by where they already gather and communicate. That’s where you need to be, physically, digitally, and emotionally.
Earn the right to be heard. When you show up in someone else’s space, you don’t lead with PowerPoints or policies. You lead with humility. You listen. You ask questions. You take notes. You let people see that you’re not there to manage them, you’re there to understand them. Stakeholders can smell inauthenticity a mile away. They don’t want another consultation; they want a two way conversation.
When you’re with a stakeholder group, talk less than you think you should. For every minute you speak, spend at least two minutes listening. Then summarise what you’ve heard before offering your own perspective. It’s a small act that earns huge credibility.
Translate your message, don’t just repeat it. Another reason engagement fails is because we assume people will understand our language. But the truth is, every group speaks its own dialect, whether that’s technical jargon, local shorthand, or cultural nuance.
Bold engagement means you’re willing to translate your message in a way that resonates. You find the metaphors that make sense to them. You drop the acronyms. You use stories, not statistics, to make your point. Before your next stakeholder meeting, test your message with someone outside your immediate circle. If they don’t understand it or don’t care, go back and rework it until they do.
Be seen, be consistent, be human. You can’t build trust by dropping in once. You have to show up consistently, even when things get tough. That means returning phone calls, keeping promises, and being visible when it’s inconvenient.
People don’t expect perfection, they expect presence. And the more human you are, the more likely they’ll meet you halfway. Schedule visibility time into your week, not just meetings, but time to walk the site, visit partners, or check in informally. Presence is powerful.
Be bold enough to let go of control. Meaningful engagement isn’t about steering every conversation or keeping things perfectly on message. It’s about creating space for real dialogue, even when that means hearing things you don’t like. That’s where the magic happens. When people feel heard, they open up. They share insights that can reshape strategy, strengthen decisions, and build shared ownership. At your next engagement, ask an open question you don’t already know the answer to, and genuinely listen to what comes back.
Courage over comfort. Meeting people where they are takes courage. It’s messy. It’s unpredictable. It’s rarely efficient. But it’s how trust is built and how transformation begins.
As leaders, communicators, and partners, our job isn’t to make engagement easy, it’s to make it real. And that starts by stepping out of our offices, our assumptions, and our agendas, and walking into the spaces where people live, work, and care. Go where the people are. You might just find that’s where the best ideas, and the strongest relationships are waiting.
Rapport North 