When I talk to leaders across the public sector, one word keeps coming up: tension.
The tension between passion and burnout. Between doing good and being seen to do good. Between advocacy and collaboration. In a world that often rewards noise over nuance, it takes real courage to stay connected, compassionate and purpose driven. And yet, this is exactly where our work matters most.
Whether you’re in a government agency, a charity, a community partnership, or a social enterprise, you are part of a shared ecosystem. The public sector doesn’t just coexist, it co-creates meaning, belonging and change.
But to thrive, we need to do more than coordinate projects and exchange reports. We need to nurture relationships grounded in trust, empathy and mutual respect.
Here’s how we can start.
1. Lead with curiosity, not certainty. One of the biggest blockers to collaboration is the belief that our way is the right way. Advocacy work often fuels strong convictions, and rightly so. But conviction without curiosity can harden into disconnection.
Instead of asking, “How do we convince them?”, try asking, “What might we learn from them?”
When we approach our public sector partners, or public agencies, with curiosity rather than judgement, we create space for empathy. We shift from defending positions to exploring possibilities.
Try this: In your next meeting, open with a question rather than a statement. “What does success look like from your side?” or “What are you most hopeful for, and most worried about?” You’ll be amazed by how this softens the room.
2. Build trust one conversation at a time. Trust isn’t a declaration, it’s a practice.
In the public sector, where people often work under pressure, trust can be fragile. The stories we tell ourselves (“They don’t understand what we’re up against” or “They’re too bureaucratic”) can become walls.
The antidote? Slow, deliberate, consistent relationship building.
- Be transparent about what you know, and what you don’t.
- Keep promises, even small ones.
- Admit mistakes early.
When people see that you show up consistently, with integrity, humility and care, trust grows.
Practical tip: Create ‘trust rituals’ in your partnership meetings, a moment to share what’s working, what’s hard, and what you appreciate about each other’s contributions. These micro-moments of gratitude and honesty build the emotional fabric that holds collaboration together.
3. Dare to have the hard conversations. Courageous leadership means facing discomfort head-on. When things go wrong, when funding is delayed, when priorities clash, when values diverge, it’s tempting to retreat behind emails and protocols.
But avoidance corrodes relationships. Having hard conversations doesn’t mean confrontation; it means clarity and compassion coexisting.
When we can say, “I feel frustrated because this matters deeply to me” rather than “You’re not listening,” we move from blame to understanding.
Tool: Use what is known as the ‘rumble’, a brave, respectful conversation about what’s really going on. Start with:
“I’m telling myself a story that…”
“Help me understand what’s happening on your side…”
“What do you need from me to move forward?”
Rumbles don’t erode relationships, they strengthen them.
4. See people, not sectors. It’s easy to fall into organisational thinking: “We need to engage the voluntary sector” or “We’re working with local authorities.” But relationships don’t happen between institutions, they happen between people.
Empathy is the bridge. When we make the effort to understand the lived experience of those working in other sectors, the pressures they face, the communities they serve, we humanise the process.
Try this: Invite your partners to share a ‘day in the life’ of their work. Not the strategic overview, the real story. The coffee at 6am before a site visit. The difficult phone call with a customer or a service user. The small win that made their week. These stories connect hearts, not just roles.
5. Honour purpose over position. At the heart of advocacy is purpose, a shared belief in creating something better. The challenge is that different sectors often express that purpose through different languages: outcomes, impact measures, funding models.
But underneath the language, the intent is the same, to serve. So when collaboration feels messy, come back to shared purpose.
Ask, “Why are we here together?” and “What’s the greater good we’re trying to serve?”
Purpose doesn’t erase difference, but it keeps difference in perspective.
Tip: End meetings with a brief reflection: “What’s one thing from today that reminds you why this work matters?” It re-centres everyone on meaning, not metrics.
6. Protect energy as fiercely as you pursue impact. Advocacy and public service can be exhausting. We show up for communities, often running on empty ourselves. But burnout is not a badge of honour, it’s a signal of disconnection from self.
You cannot pour from an empty cup. As leaders, we need to model rest, boundaries and joy, not as luxuries, but as responsibilities. Because when we nurture ourselves, we nurture the relationships that sustain our work.
Reminder: Self-care is not self-indulgence; it’s how we sustain compassion in a world that desperately needs it.
Brave spaces, not safe spaces. To nurture collaboration, we must create brave spaces, spaces where honesty, empathy and imperfection can coexist.
Brave leaders aren’t those who have all the answers; they’re the ones who are willing to listen, to learn, and to keep showing up.
So let’s choose courage over comfort. Let’s build bridges, not silos. And let’s remember, in an advocacy-driven world, connection isn’t a soft skill, it’s a strategic advantage. Because when we dare to connect, we don’t just change systems. We change lives.
Rapport North 