The cup of coffee and the art of engagement

Imagine this: you and I are having a cup of coffee. It’s simple, it’s human, and it’s equal. When we sit across the table with a warm mug in our hands, the titles disappear. CEO, manager, intern, client, or partner, it doesn’t matter. What remains is two people in conversation, building trust sip by sip. This is the essence of meaningful relationships.

Too often in business, we let positions and seniority dictate how we show up for people. We give more attention to a client than a colleague, more respect to a boss than to a teammate, more empathy to a politician than to the receptionist who greets us every morning. But the truth is, our approach doesn’t need to change just because the title on the business card does. The foundation of human connection is the same: listen, respect, understand.

Stakeholder engagement can often be reduced to strategy decks and communication plans. But at its heart, it’s no different from that cup of coffee. Stakeholders are people. They don’t just want updates, they want to feel seen, heard, and valued. They want to know there’s more to the relationship than a transaction.

Think about it: the best leaders don’t build loyalty through authority. They build it through consistency. Whether they’re speaking to a board member or a junior associate, they bring the same curiosity, the same respect, the same willingness to listen. And over time, people learn to trust them because they know what to expect.

When we engage stakeholders as people first, as if we were sitting down for coffee, we move past positional power and into relational power. That’s where influence is strongest. That’s where collaboration deepens. That’s where trust lives.

So here’s the invitation: don’t wait for the boardroom to change how you show up. Don’t let someone’s title alter your humanity. Bring the coffee-table mindset everywhere you go. Ask questions. Listen deeply. Respect consistently.

Because when we engage people not for their position, but for their person, we stop managing stakeholders and start building relationships. And in the end, it’s the relationships that last, long after the coffee cup is empty.