For some, stakeholder engagement can mistakenly be approached as a box tick exercise; a workshop, a newsletter, a public consultation event. But when you strip away the jargon and frameworks, what you’re left with is a simple human truth: people want to feel seen, heard, and understood.
And for those with additional needs, including neurodiverse individuals, people with specific learning differences, or those experiencing emotional, behavioural, or physical challenges, the need to be understood isn’t a luxury. It’s the bridge to belonging.
So how do we build that bridge? We start with the why. Why do we want to engage these stakeholders? Because they are not others. They are us. They are our neighbours, our colleagues, our children. Their voices are not just valid, they are vital.
Let’s walk through the process of developing and delivering a stakeholder engagement approach that puts empathy, equity, and understanding at the heart.
1. Start with the why: define the purpose with humanity
The first question we must ask isn’t “what do we need from them?” It’s “what do they need from us to feel safe and empowered to contribute?”
Your why should be a guiding light, not a business requirement. For example:
- Why are we engaging neurodiverse stakeholders? Because their perspectives will challenge our assumptions and improve our outcomes.
- Why are we adapting for emotional or behavioural challenges? Because psychological safety is the foundation of meaningful dialogue.
- Why are we designing for specific learning differences? Because information must be accessible, not just available.
When we clarify our why, we shift from transactional engagement to transformative connection.
2. Empathise deeply: engage before you engage
Before we can develop an approach, we must first listen. But not in the traditional way many projects listen, with a clipboard and a deadline. Real listening means putting aside our agenda to understand someone else’s world.
Engage with representative organisations, community groups, and lived experience panels. Ask open questions like:
- What does inclusive engagement feel like to you?
- What barriers have you experienced in the past?
- What would make you feel confident participating in this process?
Co-create your methods with those you seek to engage. Inclusion done to people is performative. Inclusion done with people is powerful.
3. Design with intention: one size fits none
Designing your engagement approach is where inclusion comes to life. This isn’t just about ramps and subtitles, it’s about mindset. Here’s what intentional design might look like:
- Neurodiverse stakeholders: offer quiet spaces, visual agendas, flexible participation formats (written, verbal, visual), and advance materials.
- Those with emotional or behavioural challenges: build trust through consistent facilitators, trauma-informed practices, and optional 1:1 conversations.
- Individuals with learning differences: use plain language, visuals, and different media formats. Avoid jargon like the plague.
Think of engagement as a buffet, not everyone will choose the same dish, but everyone should have something they can enjoy.
4. Deliver with grace: be human, not perfect
When it’s time to engage, how you show up matters more than what you say.
- Be patient. Let silence do some of the work.
- Be flexible. If something’s not working, change it in the moment.
- Be open. Acknowledge what you don’t know and invite others to fill the gap.
Perfection isn’t the goal. Authenticity is. When people see that you’re trying with heart, they will forgive the occasional hiccup. What they won’t forgive is being ignored, patronised, or rushed.
5. Reflect and evolve: feedback is a gift
After the engagement, go back to those stakeholders and ask: how did it feel? What could we have done better? Too often, we take feedback as criticism. But feedback is the ultimate form of respect. It means someone cared enough to tell you the truth.
Use it. Learn from it. Let it inform your future engagements.
Final thought: inclusion is not an initiative, it’s a culture
The goal isn’t to tick an inclusion box and move on. The goal is to build a culture where no one needs to ask for reasonable adjustments, because we design with difference in mind from the start.
If we truly believe that everyone has something valuable to contribute, then it’s on us to make space for every voice, in every way. Because leadership isn’t about being in charge. It’s about taking care of those in your charge. And engagement? That’s just leadership with a listening ear.
Let’s not wait for a policy to include people. Let’s do it because it’s right. Because it’s human. Because when everyone belongs, everyone benefits.
That’s how you build trust. That’s how you build change. That’s how you lead.
Rapport North 